Being Mooned...

So the Moonites have been staying on my island for the past few months and have caused nothing but chaos. They've wedgied Black Box 20 times since this morning alone. They tried to use my futuristic guns to light their "pot", and worst of all they've been using my old shoulder pads as a toliet! I for one am outraged.

I have no idea what to do. At first I thought I'd call dad and ask for advice. Then I remembered I'm a much better leader then him and not a pansy. Then I thought about calling my mom, but she's dead. Than I thought maybe getting X-Force back together, but I think Shatterstar was checking me out last time we regrouped and that made me very uncomfortable. Than I thought maybe I'd contact my fellow X-Men (Rogue, Iceman, Mystique, Cannonball, and probably a few others. I can't really keep track of these things), but they're the weakest X-Men team. I mean comeone, when Iceman's your number 2 guy that's a weak team. Uncle Alex is in space or something.

I finally came to a soultion when I was eating escargo for lunch, I should contact one of my bugly ex-girlfriends. Perhaps She-Hulk or Gaia...

DATE NIGHT

Just returned from my date. I'm never letting Deadpool set me on a Blind date again. Because of Thor I thought I had set the date. But it was really Deadpool. The woman in question was Big Bertha of the GLC(Great Lake Champions). Her special power to to be really fat or really skinny. Sadly she refuses to change back to her skinny self until all superheroes register.

See I'm one of the heroes who's been helping out Cap even though registration doesn't affect me at all. The U.S. government and Tony Stark told Deadpool to set me up on this date. Because I didn't register Bertha sat on me, and well I'm embarassed to say I was stuck in her for several weeks.

I returned to find Deadpool has given up being a mercenary. What this means for his Apprentice show I have no idea. He's been acting odd lately. Something's gotta give.