Getting some Booty!

Ha-ha, in your face everyone! I just hooked up with my ex-girlfriend Domino. She's pretty hot for someone who looks like a Panda(don't tell her I said that). She's defineately one of the htotest mutants out there.

Sadly, this means I'll have to decline the title of Sexiest Bachelor(eat Clooney!).

Anyway I travelled today to meet with the new president of Genosha, to help them rebuild. For those of you who are from the past, alternate reality, different planets, Genosha is an island country off the coast of Genosha. About 4 years ago it was nuked by Cassandra Nova with most of the population dying. They're trying to make it a good place to live once again. The President Elect I met with is Dr. Henery McCoy(no, not that one, the evil one. Dark Beast). I've pledged with the help of Latervia to donate 800 billion castheros(that's Rumkeistan's currencey, approximately 98 million dollars) to rebuild the country. There's currently only 12 residents and Unus's corpse. So we're going to encourage immigration their. Mainly from Wakanda and China. Although not many people are keen on buying a radioactive house even if the price has been slashed from 2 million dollars to 2 dollars. We'll be working on making the country safe to live in health wise this week. Anyone willing to help is more than welcome to. Except She-hulk and Gaia. And Deadpool.

Being Mooned...

So the Moonites have been staying on my island for the past few months and have caused nothing but chaos. They've wedgied Black Box 20 times since this morning alone. They tried to use my futuristic guns to light their "pot", and worst of all they've been using my old shoulder pads as a toliet! I for one am outraged.

I have no idea what to do. At first I thought I'd call dad and ask for advice. Then I remembered I'm a much better leader then him and not a pansy. Then I thought about calling my mom, but she's dead. Than I thought maybe getting X-Force back together, but I think Shatterstar was checking me out last time we regrouped and that made me very uncomfortable. Than I thought maybe I'd contact my fellow X-Men (Rogue, Iceman, Mystique, Cannonball, and probably a few others. I can't really keep track of these things), but they're the weakest X-Men team. I mean comeone, when Iceman's your number 2 guy that's a weak team. Uncle Alex is in space or something.

I finally came to a soultion when I was eating escargo for lunch, I should contact one of my bugly ex-girlfriends. Perhaps She-Hulk or Gaia...

DATE NIGHT

Just returned from my date. I'm never letting Deadpool set me on a Blind date again. Because of Thor I thought I had set the date. But it was really Deadpool. The woman in question was Big Bertha of the GLC(Great Lake Champions). Her special power to to be really fat or really skinny. Sadly she refuses to change back to her skinny self until all superheroes register.

See I'm one of the heroes who's been helping out Cap even though registration doesn't affect me at all. The U.S. government and Tony Stark told Deadpool to set me up on this date. Because I didn't register Bertha sat on me, and well I'm embarassed to say I was stuck in her for several weeks.

I returned to find Deadpool has given up being a mercenary. What this means for his Apprentice show I have no idea. He's been acting odd lately. Something's gotta give.

OK GO!

The band "Ok Go" shall be playing at a charity benefit I'm putting together for victims of early male pattern baldness/ early gray hair. I obviously identify with this problem. I've hired Carson to help me deal with their hollywood needs. For those of you who don't know Carson is the queer eye guy that war part of Deadpool's show.

What I'm secretly hoping is that they'll teach me how to ride a treadmill!

Another note I apparently made a date with someone named Bertha for this weekend. I have no recollection of this but its probably a result of Thor blasting me. Will let you know how it goes.

-Cable.

I'M ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!??????!!!????????

I was speaking to J'onn Jonzz the Martian Manhunter with my other reality communicator and he wanted to congraulate me. I had no idea about what, but he said he had heard that Gaia and I were getting married?!?!? I have no recollection of this. Either Thor's attack is the cause or there's something else going on. I mean we're dating and I like her and all, but I'm not ready for that kind of commitment. Plus Wade will demand to be the best man and perform at the bacholerette party! I can't even spell right I'm so nervous...

Maybe I should call in some favors. I don't want to abandon Gaia the way my dad did to my mom. What should I do?

My Head Hurts...

My last post was a result of:

Apparently the God of Thunder is pro-registration. Who would've thought a god would care? Heck I'm a Mutant Messiah and I barely care if the heroes register or not. Anyway I've decided to distance myself a little after this. I'm the leader of two countries, and I don't need Fabio trying to shot me with bolts of lightining. Anyway I am offering Rumekistan and Providence as safe havens to people trying to avoid Iron Man and his ass-kissing avengers who are pretty full of themselves at the moment. They don't realize the damge that they are causing. I have seen the future. I am the future. I will do whatever I can to prevent it from making the present the future.

-Nathan Summers

What the hell?

I just woke up, I have no recollection of starting this blog. Or anything. Who the hell are you guys? Why do I only have huge shoulder pads, and blue and yellow spandex for clothing. AND WHY THE HELL DO I HAVE WHITE HAIR, SHOULDN'T I BE LIKE A KID. Who's deadpool and why does he keep on leaving me nude pictures of Bea Arthur?! Someone help me!